And I met Moishe Bagel at the Folk Club last night who was a friend of mine 10 years ago or so. Amongst the rest of our conversation she said that it f*cked up Julia's head badly when I had my accident, she wasn't really looking after the kids (my kids too!!) for a number of years afterwards etc. Because she did love me very much. Which I found upsetting but reassuring too, it was the first time I have been reassured that Julia did love me. So yes it is upsetting but it makes Julia's decision to get a life of her own a bit more understandable.
At least I know that I wasn't fooling myself tho.....